Reasons to quit

I have felt at my weakest when in pursuit

I’ve been thinking.

Now that enough time has passed since the London fiasco, I’ve had time to reflect and centre myself, and my conclusion is that sometimes you have to quit your goals.

Let me explain.

There are times when wanting something so badly turns you into a worse version of yourself. It’s possible that, even with good intentions, you can start doing everything and anything to achieve it.

And this can apply to anything: friendship, love, career, money, health, or education. The more you want something, the more power you surrender, the more it owns you.

I see it more in love. I see people pursuing love, and I feel that their desire for this thing is overshadowing the rest of their lives. Not only this, I see that they want it so much that they are willing to tolerate a lot just to get a taste of it or for the chance of it.

Like Icarus flying so close to the sun that it killed him, I think the more people pedestalise the thing they want, the more they are willing to risk to get it.

There’s a way that you can struggle on the path to something, and the struggle itself makes you a better person.

There’s also a way to struggle for something, and it makes you weaker.

I think about it this way:

• If wanting it forces you to make poor decisions, leave it.

• If not having it causes you to be miserable, leave it.

• If it causes you to lose faith in God or the people around you, leave it.

• If wanting it makes you lose yourself in the chase and pursuit of it, leave it.

• If your happiness is dependent on it and it’s not one of your major needs, leave it.

If wanting something so much draws out your worst qualities, that is a sign to re-evaluate.

Basically, if it disturbs your peace, leave it.
I could go on and on.

Like I said before, there are goals that we have that, by pursuing them, make us better. We become more patient, more humble, stronger. The work we put in to close the gap from here (not having it) to there (having it) can be the fine-tuning that makes us the person worthy of achieving the goal. In the process of attaining something great, you become great, and so you win twice.

If you become a worse version of yourself in the pursuit of something, then even in its achievement, something will feel off.

I quit things regularly. Often because I have tried my hand and come to realise it’s not for me, or that I’ll have to compromise my values in some way. I can sense that letting go might serve me better than continuing down the same path. And this can be painful, especially when it’s something that I really, really want.

And it doesn’t mean it’s forever. It might mean pausing to re-evaluate, to avoid getting lost, or to reset my intention and avoid chasing the wrong path.

Pain is a good indicator that it’s time to stop. The constant wanting becomes its own source of misery, and if something is causing us misery, then it’s probably wise to stop.

I have felt at my weakest when in pursuit.

There is a level of calm that comes from taking something off a pedestal or even just choosing to walk away entirely.

And I do this not in the hope that by letting it go, it sneaks up on me when I’m not looking. No, when I let go, I’m taking time out and allowing myself to rest, trusting that if something is meant for me, then it will find me.

That’s probably the hardest part: having to sit in present circumstances and accept everything for what it is — the good and the bad. Not rushing to move past it, not rushing to hit the next milestone, just sitting in what already is.

You owe it to yourself to quit from time to time.