Moving to London is like trying to find your soulmate

Since I decided to do something life-changing, I’ve been searching for a location suitable enough for me to live out this metamorphosis.

But so far, it’s been challenging. Rooms in London are more expensive for less space, and everything moves so fast.

I spend all my evenings looking at ads for rooms, several tabs open on SpareRoom and a separate tab for Google Maps to calculate my potential travel time to work. Then I switch to Street View to check out the area. What coffee shops are nearby? Will my weekly grocery shop be at Asda, or will I be rubbing shoulders in the juice aisle at Waitrose?

Even though it’s reasonably well-connected, living in the wrong area could mean a one- to two-hour commute to work in the morning.

It’s all fun and games until I pour my heart out responding to the ad, only to receive nothing in return.

It stings.

All I want is to ride a red bus and throw half my salary away on rent.

But I’ve heard it’s just as difficult on the other side.

I met someone who had a room up on SpareRoom and was inundated with messages. Sometimes, people would start with their demands and not even bother to say hello.

Whatever happened to having manners?

I wasn’t expecting it to be this hard, if I’m honest.

There should be clear etiquette when it comes to the whole renting process. For example, there are times I’ll look through an ad and realise the person hasn’t included a picture of the bathroom.

Was it intentional, I wonder, or just an accidental omission? What are they hiding? This is something I need to know upfront.

It’s like showing up for a date and finding out the person has children they never mentioned. This is vital information, why omit it?

With all the ghosting, non-responses, and occasionally rude replies, it’s interesting to observe how poorly people behave.

I think it speaks to people not being able to communicate. Communication is a skill just like any other, but it is so necessary. Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do is to be honest and let people down gently. For example, something I might write to a person is: “Thank you, but this isn’t the right fit for me. I hope you find the right person soon.” This way, everyone knows where they stand.

There’s also a line between being direct and being rude. The line can differ from person to person, and some cultures tend to be more blunt than others, but again, it all comes down to thinking about how what you say will be perceived. When speaking to a stranger, it just pays to be extra polite. So whatever your normal level of speech is, elevate it a little.

I’ve been trying different tactics: WhatsApp groups, Facebook groups, and even asking around. It was starting to feel like I was looking for The One, and I wondered whether I would need to lower my standards, or jump into something short-term and go with the flow.

And as much as the place is important, the person or people I’ll live with are also going to impact my experience. This has added another dimension to my search. I’m looking for people (or person) with shared values, someone (or some-people) I can get on with.

I was about to give up all hope when I stumbled upon a place. This place ticks 90% of my boxes and is available in the next few weeks.

I’ve signed the tenancy agreement and paid my deposit, and it looks like I’ll be moving soon!