8 weeks of talking to strangers

Me: ChatGPT, what can I do to change my life in 2025?

ChatGPT: Network authentically: connect with inspiring individuals in your desired field.

It’s the 2nd of March, and I am exhausted. Every week, I’ve filled my calendar with one social engagement after another, trying to squeeze events between gym sessions, meal planning, skincare, maintaining a consistent writing habit with an inconsistent posting schedule, and everything else in my life. It has been a job in itself. But, and a big but, I have spoken to some very cool people.

Last year, I sat down and did a social audit. I listed all the interesting things that happened to me and then traced each back to key decisions I’d made. When I stood back and reviewed the list, I realised the biggest opportunities came from the biggest risks. More risk led to more reward.

I might not be great at networking, but I love conversations that unravel into something unexpected and wonderful. I just want to talk to everybody, all the time, all at once. Where is this conversation going? No one knows. That’s what makes it so great.

So here are some of the memorable conversations I’ve had so far this year.

London

At a client workshop in London, I met D, a researcher at LSE (London School of Economics). We ended up in the same breakout group, and I was immediately struck by how articulate and insightful he was. Later, we got talking, and I had a feeling he was exploring career options, a feeling I know all too well. A few weeks later, we had a longer chat, and I offered to connect him with other people.

Bruco

At a supper club in an Italian restaurant in Ancoats, I met N & C, recruiters for the Manchester Business School. They travel often, attending events like this as part of their work. Across the table sat L and U, teachers who had met while working abroad. We swapped holiday stories over plates of focaccia bread and olives. It made me want to go home, pack my bags and book a ticket to somewhere warm. If I ignored the outside, I could pretend I was in Italy with the mellow music playing in the background and the gentle ambient lighting.

New Gym

Last year, I joined a new gym. I walked in one day and decided not to wear my headphones. I would work out with the wind blowing on my bare ears. I started with my least favourite exercise of all time, the Bulgarian split squats. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a girl trying to get my attention. I was doing it all wrong. This I knew already because my balance was off. She showed me how to do it, and we got talking. Then she introduced me to her sister, who I realised I’d met before at my previous gym. T and S were from South Africa and had moved to Manchester two years ago. I still see them from time to time, but I have never attempted the Bulgarian split squats again. They showed me how to use the Smith machine though, and now I use that regularly instead.

Business

On a random Wednesday in January, I decided to go to a startup event. After getting lost and eventually finding my way in, I was greeted by P, the host. I can’t remember what he asked me as I entered, all I remember is that I was blabbing. I remember thinking, “What am I even saying?” I should have come prepared. I should have come with an elevator pitch that I’d practiced in the mirror several times, Dragon Den style. Maybe next time. At the same event, I met R, an entrepreneur, model, and patient advocate. I also met N, who runs a well-being company.

A week before that, or maybe after, I went to an evening lecture at the Manchester Business School. This is where I met D, who runs a creative and professional community that hosts a variety of events. They had an upcoming debate evening, which I couldn’t attend, but I made a mental note to check out their other events.

In November, I joined a business community because why not? T In January, I went to one of their events and met A, a university fashion lecturer and agency owner. The last time I spoke to a lecturer, I was in university, and none of them were as young or as fashionable as A. We talked about relationships, age gaps, and books.

Gym again

K and M I met at dinner. They both study music production, I asked them if it was possible for me to ever sing like Mariah Carey. They didn’t straight up tell me no, so I took this as a positive sign. I met them through a gym WhatsApp group, which has been great because I have met a truly international pool of people. K and M, between them, come from multiple countries, speak multiple languages, and have lived in multiple locations. Before the rest of the group arrived, we debated the topic of whether love could coexist with lust.

Social media

J connected with me on social media because of a post I wrote about moving from medicine to project management, and we jumped on a call. We had a chat, and something she said made me feel really good about my recent attempts to start posting more consistently online. I received another connection request from A, who looks very high up in his organization, so immediately I was intrigued.

Valentine’s Day

Remember D and his social club? I bought a ticket and went along to a Valentine’s event. By myself. Was it a little awkward? Yes. Did the awkwardness evaporate after a while? Also yes. I’ve been going solo to events for so long now that it’s easy for me to book a ticket without thinking. But then I show up, and there’s that initial feeling of discomfort. Where will I sit? Where will I leave my coat? Will I look weird going on my own? But it always ends up being alright by the end. I approached C and L’s table, asked if the seat was free, and sat with them the entire evening. L and I spent the entire night trying to set C up with any good-looking guy we could see, while C threatened to kill us. What a fun night.

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I could try to list every single new person I met in the last two months, but that would get boring. More importantly though, the last 8 weeks have shifted that feeling of stuckness that I was feeling and it’s been rejuvenating to my spirit to have met so many new people in such a short space of time.

Here’s what I have learned about having interesting conversations that doesn’t rely on me being the most informed about social economical political events.

Quick tips for interesting conversations:

1. Be curious. Ask why. Why do they like that movie? Why do they want to become a monk after their master’s degree, even though they don’t believe in religion?

2. Start small. How did they hear about this event? How do they know the host? Why did they move to Manchester?

3. Listen. And just let it unravel.